Hey everyone! I'm back. I really feel like I need to start writing on a regular basis again. When I use to write all the time, the support I got from the wonderful people on here truly helped me with my daily life and all my "ISSUES"
I have been super depressed lately. Yes, Miss Ashley was dumped a few days ago. I have never been dumped before, and it is truly an awful feeling like nothing I have ever felt before. Matt is the only real boyfriend I have ever had, we had been together since I was 17 and I recently broke up with him and began my new relationship. Although The new guy and I were only together for a few months I almost feel heartbroken. The feeling that I had as he walked away from me, was like I was the only person left on the face of the earth. ALONE!
I still can not believe that he dumped me. He was the nicest guy I have ever met and really he still is. I'll try to explain the situation and the circumstances and maybe someone can help me figure what happened.
Okay, here goes... The new guy is actually my neighbor. Him and one of his friends sent someone over to ask me my name and how old I was. That's how it all started. So after a few days we all started hanging out on a daily basis. Well, as it turned out both guys "liked" me. Anyway, things just started to happen between me and "my ex" and after a few weeks it was turning into a relationship, but weren't officially together.
He is going to be leaving at the end of August to go to school in a different state. So after about a month I decided to tell him that maybe we should just be friends since he was leaving soon. So that neither of us (me) would be hurt. He said, he didn't want us to just be friends. I basically told him that we could either be together or we could be friends, nothing in between. He said he wanted us to be together and thats pretty much how we became boyfriend and girlfriend.
(now I don't know if this matters, but when we met he was a virgin, So yes I was his first.)
Anyway for the first month he was super sweet, we would stay up almost all night just talking and spending time together. He would call as soon as he got home from work. Then he started going to "the lake" I didn't want to go with him...it was my choice, yes he did invite me. He was hanging out with his dads girlfriend daughter. She is super young so I wasn't really thinking anything of it. But some of his friends told me that he was flirting and doing little things that I don't think he would be doing had I been there. Although when I asked him about it he said he didn't do anything he wouldn't have done in front of me. Now just to be clear, I do not think he cheated on me with this girl. I'm just trying to tell the details so that any advice given has all the facts. I guess you could say I was being a bitch to him at times cause it started to seem like he didn't have time for me, he always had other stuff to do. I also jumped to conclusions about these situations sometimes. Well, for about the last week before we broke up he started wanting to go to sleep early (which I could understand cause he had to get up early for work) and he really was home (we live like 5 houses away...
)
When he would try to hug me I would kinda pull away cause I was always mad at him for stupid stuff, I probably shouldn't have even been mad about in the first place.
Anyway...here's the break up...
He came over to my house and were just talking...we had been talking about what was going on for the last few days. He just kept telling me I really like you, I still feel the same way about you and I do want to be with you...and he wouldn't say anything else. Finally after a couple hours he said, maybe you were right...maybe we should just be friends...What do you think...what do you want? He told me that he had too much shit going on and we never really got to see each other anymore and he was going to be leaving to go to school in a few weeks and that he didn't want either of us to be more hurt than we already are. So I cried a little and he kept saying, I don't want you to hate me, and I don't want you to be mad at me, I really want us to be friends. After I felt a little better I asked if he really want to be friends or if he was just saying that cause That's what people say! He said, he wanted to still hang out and still do stuff together. It's been 3 days and we've talked everyday except yesterday. We do seem to get along a lot better now that we aren't "together" but I just don't get. If he still likes me and still wants to be with me why would he break up with me??? Is that just something that guys say...??? Maybe some could help me understand or give me some advice. I still like him and I kinda hope he regrets breaking up with me and misses me. but if we still talk all the time as friends does that mean he won't be able to miss me cause I'm still around??? What should I do???
Love Always,
Ashley
