Hey everyone...it's been way too long! So much has been going on in my life, I don't know where to start.

Let's see, I'm still seeing a bunch of doctors to find out what's going on with me. Yeah, I know it's really crazy that I still don't know. What I do know is that the lump behind my ear is either a cyst or a tumor. I am going to be having surgery on the 3rd of July to have it removed and checked.

I haven't been writing or talking to Matt. I've met a new guy and I don't know what to do. I feel so bad, but I have to live my life right? Life keeps going, it's really not an option. I didn't mean for this to happen, but what can I do? This new guy isn't my boyfriend, but he has definitely taught me that I deserve to be treated well. I have been in a relationship for the past five years with a guy who has done nothing but abuse me both emotionally and physically. HE has cheated on me more times than I can count or even know of. Matt was my everything. HE was my first love, he was my first, and now he is the father of my child, but does that mean he has to be given another chance when he honestly probably doesn't deserve one? I know deep down that this new guy and I probably will never be together. he is going to be leaving to go to school in a few months. It's such a strange situation. We have only known each other for a short period of time but, I have learned something so valuable from him that no one else has been able to teach me. He will probably never what a difference he has made in my life. HE has showed me that nice guys really are out there. I would have never given him the time of day a couple years ago, hell probably even a couple months ago. With learning what I have learned from him, I will say to everyone. Give that guy or girl a chance. The one that may not be your type, or the one that's just a little too nice. It has been a very eye opening experience.

Well, I'm going to go for now. If anyone has any thoughts or advice, I would love to hear it!

I miss all my blog family! Lucy, Colo, Scratch and everyone else!!!

God Bless...

Love Always, Ashley

Does anyone have a myspace??? If you do let me know...I'm on there all the time!