The only thing I want in this world is to be good person. More importantly I want to be a good mother.

I think about my life and I think about my mother. I know she loved me, but she had to of known that she was dying. She had to have known she wasn't healthy. Being a mother myself I know how much I love my son. My biggest fear is dying, and leaving my son in this cold world without a mom. No one loves a child like their mother! So I think how could my mother intentionally kill her self with alcohol, knowing she'd be leaving her kids in this world without a mother? I was 19 when my mom died. I was an adult, but I still needed her! Sometimes I get mad at her, but I will never hold it against her. I still need her, and she's gone. I think about all the things she will miss. My wedding, her grandkids, birthdays, all the holidays, just regular days that we should be sharing just spending time together.

When I see all the kids in foster care and children who are abused, it just makes me sick! I will never understand how a parent could not love their child! That just drives me crazy.

I've lost my touch with this whole blogging thang. I don't know what to write. It's just not coming out right.

Oh well, that's okay I guess. After all I'm not trying to be a writer, just a good mother!

This is what life is all about...